There are several things you wish you could be doing. For one reason or another none are possible. There are other things you would prefer not to be doing. It seems, though, you have no alternative.I'm not saying you should accept just anything. If, though, you can bring yourself to be realistic about your options, you will start to feel differently about some of the factors you resent. Don't compromise a big aspiration. Do, though, look at another way to get your desired result.As you are aware I am hoping to start my Bachelor of Nursing next year. There is a small University campus in a town only 25 kms from where I am living which conveniently offers this course. All lectures are done by video conference from the Main Campus and it is closely linked with the Hospital which services our region. I can study with minimal difficulties ie: custody arrangements, transport, moving etc.
But I have discovered a double degree (Bachelor of Nursing / Bachelor of Clinical Practice - Paramedic) I have been drooling over at another University about 600kms away. So firstly, it would involve not only moving but it would also start the custody war to end all wars. If I stay here there is basically nothing he can do but share. If I try to remove my son without his approval he can get a court order to have him returned, so we don't want to start that at this stage.Secondly, the course load is much higher with a lot more block pracs. This would mean more juggling of my son and yet again it comes down to custody, I don't want to do anything to give the bugger the excuse to go for full custody. I think I will be pushing it to get him to cooperate with my current plans (when he eventually finds out, of course). Having all my family on the other side of the country is hard in that respect, no instant babysitting service. I also love living in Town A for various reasons - good friends, good lifestyle, and a significant piece of Eye Candy I have become quite attached to.
So having had a good drool, I will stop pining after the impossible and start to focus on what I can do at this stage. That doesn't mean I am giving up the dream by any means. I will start with the parts I can do now and re-evaluate when my son is a bit older. But for the moment I have put it out there to the Universe that I would love the Ex to suddenly decide to leave the coast and move to Town B for some random reason ( not likely) and for my 'Significant Eye Candy' to suddenly decide that a change of scene would be good and put in for a transfer as well (even less likely) and then I would be a very happy woman! So having put it out there, I have had a good laugh at myself and let it go!