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This week has been draining to say the least. Our town holds a 4 day Jazz Festival every year and the cafe I owned with the Ex cops a flogging every year. The first year we had only been in business for two months and had no idea what we were in for, which led to both of us being there until 3am prepping for the next day each night. It was a success but nearly killed us.
Last year found us just as busy but a lot more prepared. To complicate matters our relationship was over, we were still living together and the pins placed in our son's arm had worked their way to the surface and left lovely gaping holes which required me to run him out to Slightly Bigger Town ER each night to be checked and dressed as well as keep up with the prep for the weekend. So it is no wonder that we both involuntarily cringe at the words 'Jazz Festival'.
This year as the time approached we both started wondering if we were mad. I was going to go back for the 4 days and reclaim my kitchen for the Festival, do 14 hour days with the Ex in a pressure cooker situation and hopefully nobody was going to get hurt in the process. We knew it was crazy and had all the makings of a disaster, but our staff and customers also saw trouble coming. One regular customer was placing bets on when he would see me storming off down the road in tears, and I'm not sure I blame him for expecting it. In the end the Ex and I decided that the weekend would be declared a success if we got through it without having to call an ambulance.
Well, we did it! No snappy moments, no arguing and a lot of really good teamwork. I am very proud of us both. It turned out to be by far the least stressful year so far and the only downside was that we missed out on setting a new sales record by $16 on the Saturday and $14 on the Sunday. And our amazing son stayed at the cafe all weekend without a complaint and amused himself so well that there were several times I looked up to find him in the sea of people with a certain amount of panic because I had not heard him for hours and suddenly had a Mummy Panic Moment. He has been substantially rewarded for being the perfect Hospitality Kid and been told how proud of him we are so much that he is now starting to growl at the compliments. Also very proud of our wonderful staff who made it so much easier for us this year.
So that is my final stint at the Cafe over and done, and I must say it is like a chapter of my life has been finalized. I did the right thing going back to help and I am so glad it all ended on a high.
Horoscope from the paper yesterday. This guy mostly dribbles generic shit, but every now and then it is spot on. This one made me laugh. Read it and I will explain.
There are several things you wish you could be doing. For one reason or another none are possible. There are other things you would prefer not to be doing. It seems, though, you have no alternative.I'm not saying you should accept just anything. If, though, you can bring yourself to be realistic about your options, you will start to feel differently about some of the factors you resent. Don't compromise a big aspiration. Do, though, look at another way to get your desired result.
As you are aware I am hoping to start my Bachelor of Nursing next year. There is a small University campus in a town only 25 kms from where I am living which conveniently offers this course. All lectures are done by video conference from the Main Campus and it is closely linked with the Hospital which services our region. I can study with minimal difficulties ie: custody arrangements, transport, moving etc.
But I have discovered a double degree (Bachelor of Nursing / Bachelor of Clinical Practice - Paramedic) I have been drooling over at another University about 600kms away. So firstly, it would involve not only moving but it would also start the custody war to end all wars. If I stay here there is basically nothing he can do but share. If I try to remove my son without his approval he can get a court order to have him returned, so we don't want to start that at this stage.Secondly, the course load is much higher with a lot more block pracs. This would mean more juggling of my son and yet again it comes down to custody, I don't want to do anything to give the bugger the excuse to go for full custody. I think I will be pushing it to get him to cooperate with my current plans (when he eventually finds out, of course). Having all my family on the other side of the country is hard in that respect, no instant babysitting service. I also love living in Town A for various reasons - good friends, good lifestyle, and a significant piece of Eye Candy I have become quite attached to.
So having had a good drool, I will stop pining after the impossible and start to focus on what I can do at this stage. That doesn't mean I am giving up the dream by any means. I will start with the parts I can do now and re-evaluate when my son is a bit older. But for the moment I have put it out there to the Universe that I would love the Ex to suddenly decide to leave the coast and move to Town B for some random reason ( not likely) and for my 'Significant Eye Candy' to suddenly decide that a change of scene would be good and put in for a transfer as well (even less likely) and then I would be a very happy woman! So having put it out there, I have had a good laugh at myself and let it go!
A woman was sitting at her son's bedside in the busy ER of a large hospital. Her 5 year old son had been taken to the ER of their local hospital with a broken arm. Because there were no surgical facilities at the small local hospital they were transferred to a bigger regional hospital for surgery. After an aborted attempt to fix the arm there they were then transferred to Canberra Hospital. The child was calmly enduring everything and though he was obviously in a fair amount of pain had not complained the whole time.The child's father had spent the 48 hours since the accident alternating between getting drunk, abusing his partner and her father and driving between hospitals. He still had not arrived in Canberra 2 hours after the rest of the family, but was expected at any time and quite frankly his arrival was being anticipated with trepidation. The woman herself was feeling the strain of 48 hours with no sleep, being the buffer between her partner and the hospital staff (who would not deal with him) and trying to stop him from turning the accident into his own personal drama at every turn. She was also still feeling a fair bit of shame at having swung punches at him in the street outside their business when he refused to let her go to her son.
Yep, that was me 12 months ago. It all seems so surreal now, but my life was falling apart around me while I just sat there and waited for the next blow. So I sat there watching the organized chaos of the ER as my son dozed and a sense of great peace came over me. It was like suddenly being in the eye of a cyclone, and then I had a moment of clarity. This was where I belonged! But I was like the kid peering through the fence at what they perceive to be a better life. I was on the wrong side of the fence! I was living a life I hated and sitting there watching people who were living my dream. In that moment I decided to end my abusive relationship and take back control of my life. At that time the dream of nursing was something I still did not think of as a possibility, but I was later to get back enough confidence in myself to start dreaming again.
It took me 6 months to fight my way out of that relationship. The more I tried to wrestle control back the worse the abuse got, but in a way I am grateful for that. The way I look at it, I was pushed to breaking point and well past 'the point of no return'. I was left standing there with a pile of rubble at my feet and now brick by brick I am re-building my life with that rubble, but this time I know what I want it to look like and I am following the plan.
