Well, you all told me it was possible and I never quite believed it, but I made it through First Year! 

OK, so I obviously could have told you all that 6 months ago, but what I didn't know is that I not only made it onto the Dean's Merit List but I was awarded the prize for Top 1st Year Nursing Student!

So thanks for all the support folks! Rereading your comments motivated me, made me smile, made me cry and for all of those things I am incredibly grateful!

Doin A Happy Dance!

It's been a long wait to find out, but on Friday morning I got an Offer from the University! I officially start the Bachelor of Nursing program in February!!!!

I'M IN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Time Continues To Creep Along......

Well, the end of the road is in sight! I have submitted my scholarship applications for next year with only days to spare and now I am at a bit of a loss. 
My University application is 'pending', but applications for those close on Friday as well, so I am now just hanging around waiting to hear back from everyone to tell me if they will let me do what I want. 
God only knows what I will do if I don't get in because I really don't have a 'Plan B'.
Should I have a 'Plan B'???

Red Dirt In My Veins

I have a dream. At best it will take me 10 years to achieve it, but I do have a dream. One day I'll go home!

Reality Check

Back in May I did a little spot check of my progress and was pleasantly surprised, so I decided that another reality check was about due. I have been feeling like life has ground to a halt, but it seems that it is no where near as bad as it feels.

• Beat Pot Habit - Dec - Done
• Put on weight - Steady on target weight since Jan - 1.5 kgs above Target - WooHoo!
• Leave Ex - Dec - Done
• Find a house to live in - Dec - Done
• Leave the cafe I ran with the Ex - Late Jan - Done
• Sort out Tax issues from previous years - March - Done
• Stat test - May - Done
• Human Physiology Class - Started - Done
• Advanced Medical Terminology Course - Enrolled - Start next week  Done
• Quit Smoking - Attempt 1 - Failed - Attempt 2 - Failed - Attempt 3 - Started
• Enroll for Bachelor of Nursing - Awaiting STAT results - Application Submitted
• Transition to Nursing Studies Course - Oct
• Buy a car - Awaiting Tax Return - Done
• Regain Drivers License - Been Ignoring it
• Senior First Aid Certificate - Well and truly expired - Done
• Get Immunisations up to date
• Get voluntary work at local Nursing Home - Paperwork just needs signing Done
• Nursing Student!!

I am getting there!

Waiting For An Offer.

I handed in my application for University yesterday and now I wait for the offer I have been told will be forthcoming considering my test score and my application letter.


I started this post with that line 5 days ago actually it is now 12 days ago and for some reason have been unable to go any further. In fact rather than being ecstatic I feel like I have postnatal depression over the whole thing. The postman is only delivering crap I don't want and I am at a complete standstill as far as all study goes. The house is not exactly clean, my family are here for a holiday in two days time, I have a Medical Terminology assignment due in 6 days and I can't retain a single thing, and it is damn cold! OK, is that the end of my whinging? Hell No! I am mad about a man who shows signs of interest and then does nothing! And I have a stalker! Which really is not as cool as it sounds!
Well, thanks for letting me rant! I am now going to get off my butt and make this house spotless for my family who I haven't seen in a long time, then I am going to open those books and get the assignment done before they arrive and if I get frustrated enough I might even call that damn Ambo and find out what is going on in that head of his! Not likely! But I'll think about doing it!

Application Ready to Go!

I finally got off my butt and gave the University a call with my scores to find out for sure if they were good enough. I was quite confident but felt that leaving it a week to call them and check is probably way long enough, so I made the call. The lady confirmed for me that my score was well over the Minimum Acceptance Score for this course and should feel quite confident. So I then asked her when applications opened and she told me that I can apply immediately. Oh Crap! That means writing the application letter.
The application letter - there is nothing more painful than having to talk yourself up on paper! I find it a very uncomfortable process, especially when they are asking you to list your personal qualities. Ummm.............I have proven to be good at taking direction, but not afraid to step up and take control of a situation when necessary.  - Could probably also be written  -  I have proven to be good at taking direction, to a point, but not afraid to step up and take control of a situation when you start to piss me off.
Anyway, I did manage to behave myself and finish it tonight and I am happy with it. I had a friend proofread it for me and it is now printed signed and read to lodge tomorrow morning.

STAT Test Results

Nearly 4 weeks ago I sat the test that decides if I get into University or not and it has been one hell of a wait for the results. Well, today the postman delivered that scary letter. I took one look at the University Admissions Centre logo and ripped open that envelope. Then I froze! I couldn't look! I stood there next to the mailbox with shaking hands staring at the envelope and I had that sinking feeling in the guts.
The test has a funny grading system but to make it easier for you to tell how you went they give a Percentile Ranking which tells you which percentage of candidates nationwide in the last year you did better than.
Well, my overall Percentile Rank was 95.3%. I just about passed out! I am VERY happy! That means (that unless every one of those 4.7% who did better than I did decide to move to our small town and do their Bachelor of Nursing) I am in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rollercoaster

What a roller-coaster of a week! Some really shitty moments, but some amazing feel-good moments too! The past and present have certainly been contrasting each other!

Which I guess is a good thing as it reminds me why I left the life I had 6 months ago and why I love my new one. I have tried to use the whole experience as motivation to continue on towards my goals and I guess, mostly succeeded. The negatives of the week are now learning experiences to propel me forward and those feel-good moments are being cherished in the hope that there will be more of the same in the future. 

Bingo Time!

Well I finally got off my butt and finalized my paper work for the Nursing Home. Have to report for duty on Friday in time for 1 O'clock Bingo!
So I am going armed with great advice from a great friend.

Friend - "Now if you are reading out the BINGO numbers - speak slow and clear."

My Response - " And very bloody LOUD!!! LMAO"

Bring It On! It is all starting to happen now! 

Something I Have Been Avoiding

Five weeks ago I went and applied at the local Nursing Home to be a Volunteer Carer. This is mainly to back up my application to go to Uni next year. As part of the application process I have to submit a written proposal stating among other things what I have done ie. community involvement, work experience in the nursing field.
If my score on the STAT test is high enough I will get in with no problems, but if my score is average these extra things will be the one's to push me over that line and get my application approved. So I have enrolled in all sorts of classes etc but according to the Uni Entrance Officer the voluntary work will be looked upon very favourably and count for big points. So I have submitted my application for Police Clearance, but in the mean time I can start at the NH with just a Stat Dec signed by one of their senior staff.
I have been up there three times to get the Stat Dec signed by this woman but every time she has been out of the office. But to tell you the truth I have not exactly chased this woman down as I am not exactly excited about the whole thing. 
OK, so it was completely my idea, and I know I will probably love doing it but.... As a  VC I will spend my time working for the Leisure and Lifestyle Department, which basically means as well as spending 1 day running the Op-Shop, I will be filling 3 days a week taking LOL's for walks and drinking lots of cups of tea.  I will probably enjoy this immensely but there are so many other things I am feeling the pressure to do.
So I got a call from the NH Office last week which made me feel incredibly guilty. They are so excited to have me on the team and can't wait for me to start. I have met the ladies I will be working with and they seem really great. We spent a lot of my initial meeting with them laughing and I have no doubt that I will fit in well, but it is not ultimately where I want to end up. In fact Aged Care would probably be my last choice.
I was chatting online with my Aunt who lives on the other side of Oz last week and she asked what I was hoping to study. When I told her Nursing her response was 'Great! You will be able to take care of all us oldies in years to come'. BLOODY HELL! Glad she could not see the look on my face at that one! I love my family but the thought of combining them and aged care is the stuff nightmares are made of!
So tomorrow I will go and sign off on the last of the paper work and organise when I am starting. I will no doubt enjoy the whole experience and make some useful contacts, so it is time to get my act together and just do it!

Time To Put It All In Perspective

I have been inspired by It's Just Me! in her latest post on her blog - Who's life is this anyways? - to do another stocktake of where I am up to with the goal list.

• Beat Pot Habit - Dec - Done
• Put on weight - Steady on target weight since Jan
• Leave Ex - Dec - Done
• Find a house to live in - Dec - Done
• Leave the cafe I ran with the Ex - Late Jan - Done
• Sort out Tax issues from previous years - March - Done
• Stat test - May - Done
• Human Physiology Class - Started
• Advanced Medical Terminology Course - Enrolled - Start next week
• Quit Smoking - Attempt 1 - Failed - Attempt 2 - Started
• Enroll for Bachelor of Nursing - Awaiting STAT results - apps close Oct 31
• Transition to Nursing Studies Course - Oct
• Buy a car - Awaiting Tax Return
• Regain Drivers License - Been Ignoring it
• Senior First Aid Certificate - Well and truly expired
• Get Immunisations up to date
• Get voluntary work at local Nursing Home - Paperwork just needs signing
• Nursing Student!!

Well, seems I am getting there, but I still feel like I am a mess most of the time. I guess it is just one day at a time, take it as it comes and I will get there.

Faced The Firing Squad And Survived - I Think!

Walking up the hill to the Uni this morning I felt like I was going to face the firing squad. There is nothing worse than that impending feeling of doom. All the what if's were flying around my brain - What if I have a complete brain explosion? - What if I run out of time? - What if I throw up on the test book? Trust me they got more absurd from then on in! At least I was able to give myself a bit of a chuckle at the door. But then they made us wait for the correct time to enter the exam room and we all sat there looking scared shitless.
So I spent the next two hour swinging wildly between confident and petrified and then back again. Who the hell writes these questions? I spent 10 minutes analysing drawings done by a man on Acid! No kidding! They were sort of cool! But some of the other questions had  my head spinning. I managed to finish with 15 mins to spare and had time to recheck a couple of answers I was not confident about then closed the test book and stared out the window resisting the urge to panic for the last 5 mins.
The sense of relief when I walked out of that room was quite intense. I think I have only just calmed down after spending the afternoon completely delirious. Found myself in tears several times for no reason at all, but what keeps going around in my head can be summed up by the following song. Have a listen!
Dar Williams - Farewell to the old me

I Wonder If They Know

I am meant to be studying but as I sit here with all my books open in front of me struggling through study guides my mind keeps drifting from basic chemistry (which doesn't seem too basic to me at this present time) to other things. I tend to take my books to a local cafe so I can have a steady dose of caffeine to keep the brain running along nicely. The cafe I used to own with the Ex, which he still runs, is just around the corner and a lot of our ex-customers now frequent this one. It is amazing to me the number of people who approach me to offer their support. These are people who while I was still with the Ex would look the other way in the street. I guess we made a lot of people uncomfortable with the rows we had in the cafe. But now it is a regular occurrence for these people to come up to me and give me a squeeze on the shoulder or sometimes even an unexpected hug and offer their support. I am a fairly forthright person and have not hidden the fact that I have left the cafe and an abusive relationship. I also tend to be quite blunt about other challenges I have overcome in this journey. 
My time-wasting pondering was set off today by a lady who I was fairly certain did not approve of me in any way. She approached me and said she had been thinking about me and that I should be proud of myself. Then proceeded to say 'If you need anything at all, please call me. I am here for you any time' as she gave me her phone number. She is not the first to do this.
Although I have never called any of these people who have done this, I wonder if they appreciate how much those expressions of support mean to someone in my position. I have a great network of friends and have never felt alone on this journey but these little moments often give you that internal 'lift' that makes you feel like it is all worth it. They make it easier to continue on towards your ultimate goal.
This must be one of the best parts of living in a small town!

Where I Intended To Be

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I had ended up where I intended to be.

Douglas Adams 

There are times when life seems to be so off track that you lose sight of where you are and what you are doing. But I have realised that despite life's twists, turns and complete detours things always happen for a reason. Sometimes the reason is not apparent, in fact, it can be quite frustrating when things don't go as planned.
But often the only thing stopping life from moving forward is my own acceptance. But as I have started to accept that life will lead you toward your destiny no matter what, it seems that I have stopped coming across roadblocks of my own making and things have started to happen.
So my goal is now to keep my eye on my goal, but not stress about how I get there. Sometimes there is something down a different path that may not be visible from where I stand but may ultimately help me get to my destination. The trick is to find the courage to follow those paths as they present themselves.
So I will continue on with my destination firmly in mind and trust that I will end up where I intended to be.